Friday, June 29, 2012

Fathers and Sons - Why Boys Need Role Models

C.L Sulzberger, former columnist for the New York Times, makes a strong case for the influence of fathers in his famous book "Fathers and Children- How Famous Leaders Were Influenced by Their Fathers." It is important to note that not all influence was for the better of the child. Some of the fathers were as celebrated as their children and some of the parents were overshadowed by the fame of the offspring.

Leopold Mozart maneuvered his son all over the world showing him off and forcing his way into places that would advance the career of his son. Joseph P. Kennedy began grooming Jack F. for the American presidency when his oldest Joe Jr. was killed in World War II. Would the sons have become as celebrated without the dominating influence of the father? No one knows that answer. Nor do we know how many males could have become better men had their father just paid them a little attention and cared about them as a person.

Fatherhood

Can and Should a Dad Be Part of Son's Life

Fathers and Sons - Why Boys Need Role Models

The answer is yes. As a parent educator I have visited and taught hundreds of families and see many single Moms struggling to make sense of what their sons need and want from life. As important as mothers, grandmothers, aunties and female teachers are, boys need other male role models to guide and teach them how to be a kind, thoughtful and respectful men.

If the father is not a positive role model or is absent in the life of the son, the Mother should encourage safe adults to have an influence on her son. Finding adult males who will mentor and teach the boy is important. No matter how close a mother and son are in sharing food, housing and bathroom space, a boy needs to find a good male example to follow and emulate.

Coaches, teachers, ministers, scout leaders, uncles, grandfathers and neighbor friends can all play an important part in teaching masculine skills in a nurturing male environment. A good place that I have suggested to many single moms looking for a strong male influence for their sons is volunteer work. When you sign up as a family to volunteer at the Food Pantry, the males are naturally drawn to unloading the trucks together.

Please do not imagine that I want to separate the sexes or do not see women unloading trucks. Our daughters are every bit as strong as our son. What I am saying, is that if there is a male mentor, it will be easier for your son to gravitate to him while doing community work. It won't seem so arranged, but will occur naturally.

Studies have shown that adolescent boys have to know that they are important to a man whom they respect in order to develop self confidence and a strong sense of identity. So as parents we need to expose our children to as many respectful, honest, kind and thoughtful people of both sexes as possible. And if you are a Dad, you need to be involved and stay involved in the life of your sons and daughters. They need you and you need them.

Help Build a Confident and Courageous Man

Fathers and Sons - Why Boys Need Role Models

Please go to http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com for a more in-depth look at the importance of nurturing self esteem in yourself as well as those you care about. You will be glad you did.

(c) Judy H. Wright http://www.ArtichokePress.com. You have permission to reprint this article in your blog, ezine or offline magazine as long as you keep the content and contact information intact. Thank You.

Artichoke Press is the home site of Judy H. Wright, family relationship coach and author. If your organization would like to schedule Auntie Artichoke, the storytelling trainer, for a workshop please call 406.549.9813.

Thanks for joining our community of caring parents, family members,coaches, teachers and mentors who want to help raise a generation of responsible adults.

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Sunday, June 24, 2012

Different Types of Father Daughter Relationships

As you take a look at this list of fathers see if you can relate to any of these father and what impact it has played in your life; maybe still today in a positive or negative way.

Abusive father

Fatherhood

An abusive father is a father who passes his limits, whose limits are either not known or not important for him and his daughter and verbally and physical abusive to his daughter.

Different Types of Father Daughter Relationships

Controlling father

A controlling father is a father who thinks that he is in charge and that he knows more and that he needs to control this daughter because she will make a mistake and would do much wrong to herself and the family so it is best he controls her.

Over-protective father

The over protective father does not have confidence in his daughter in a way he perceives that he is helping her by protecting her because he thinks that she may do wrong so to make things easier and faster he over protects and in doing so he holds back her development and keeps her dependent on him.

Directive father

This father believes he knows what is right for his daughter ever since she has been small and so he continues to direct her because she will make lots of mistake and will not find her way.

Doubting father

This father doubts his daughter when ever she comes to him because he has difficulty in trusting her and her ability to do things for her.

Analytic father

With an analytic father he does not show his emotions for emotions to him does not has a place when comes to making a decision for his daughter. He thinks that with statistics it will prove what is best for his daughter.

Supportive father

A supportive father is a father who feels that he has taught his daughter enough and that he is there to support her with what she want to do only when she ask for it.

Absent father

An absent father is a father who thinks that because he works outside of the home that his daughter should understand this and that he is allowing himself to not to be a part of her life because he thinks that he is doing enough for her by providing material things.
The absent father thinks that he is bringing in the money and that is enough and the education and the emotion difficulties that his daughter has, she will get the help from her mother.

The know it all father

With a know it all father it is difficult to have a discussion with her father because he knows it all and that he will leave no room for sharing so his daughter will feel she has no relationship with her father.

The passive father

The passive goes along to the point that he has difficulty in making a decision because he does not want to hurt or make a stand on what he thinks because he may not feel love and more rejection.

Avoidance father

The avoidance father have a tendency to avoid the things that are important he may change the subject every time something important needs to be discuss with his daughter.

Different Types of Father Daughter Relationships

The author grants full reprint rights to this article. You may reprint and electronically distribute this article so long as its contents remain unchanged, and the author's byline remains in place. Francis is the owner of trans-formers.com if you want more information on free relationship advice in your life you can find it at: http://www.trans-formers.com/free-relationship-advice.html

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Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The 40th Birthday Speech - How to Write a Good One

You've got the task of preparing a 40th birthday speech.

You want it to be a 3 minute dazzler to mark the milestone occasion however right now the job feels like a millstone.

Fatherhood

There are lists of things to say and equally large lists of things not to say but not a lot about how to actually write the speech.

The 40th Birthday Speech - How to Write a Good One

And that's where having step by step outline and a 40th birthday speech sample to look at would be good.

As of now you can quit tearing out your hair. Instead grab a piece of paper and a pen. We're going to go through the steps needed for you to have a completed 40th birthday speech that you'll be proud to deliver.

Let's start by getting down to basics with a few questions first.

Who is your audience? Is it family? Is it family and friends? Is it a mix of family, friends and work colleagues? Are they a mix of ages? What type of celebration is it? Is it a formal dinner party? Is it informal? Are you the only speaker or one of several?

The tone and what you put in your speech will be guided by your answers to the questions above. Obviously you'll leave out anything that could be misunderstood or inappropriate for your audience.

Now let's get the building blocks of your 40th birthday speech together.

On your paper write down these 3 headings with large enough spaces in between for notes.

1. Introduction 2. Middle - Main idea 1, Main idea 2, Main idea 3 3. Conclusion

Using your knowledge of the audience, the birthday person and the occasion, begin filling in the blanks.

For instance next to 'Introduction' you might write: Hi and welcome to Bob's 40th birthday celebration. We're delighted to have you all with us.

And now move on to the next heading: Middle.
This is where you're going to put the most important points (main ideas) you want to make. As a birthday speech is generally only 3 minutes long you've got enough room for three. What you choose is up to you. Mostly though they're a mix of good natured fun about the birthday person, what they mean to you and perhaps a word or two of wisdom.

So your 'Middle' notes may look like this.

Main Idea 1: Childhood - I remember when Bob was 3 he wanted to be a fireman. He'd spend all day making siren noises and putting out imaginary fires with the garden hose. Main Idea 2: Youth/Young adulthood - Collecting baseball cards, learning to skate board, getting his first real job Main Idea 3: Present/Character/ Future - Along came Sally (wife) and children, joy, fatherhood, responsibility, promotion in job

Lastly write your notes next 'Conclusion': quote (you're going to look up some amusing or witty quotes on being 40 and weave one in here) and final toast. Example. 'Ladies and gentlemen, let's raise our glasses to Bob. May you have another happy energy filled 40 years!'

OK. This isn't a speech yet but it is an outline. To make the transition from this to a whole 40th birthday speech you are going to go back through and flesh out your notes making each idea link smoothly to the next.

The easiest way I know of doing this is to say it out loud as if you're just chatting with a friend.

I'll give you one example and then you can do the remainder for yourself.
We'll pick up

Main Idea 1. 'I remember when Bob was 3 he wanted to be a fireman. He'd spend all day making siren noises and putting out imaginary fires with the garden hose'.
What's needed is a bridge or transition to get from this idea to the next, 'collecting baseball cards, learning to skateboard and so on.

How about this? 'Fortunately for Aunty Betty's ears his next passion was quiet and neither did it leave puddles in the yard. It was baseball cards. Bob collected hundreds of them. He bartered for them, begged for them and stuck them all over his bedroom walls. Now he was Denny McLain with the roar of crowds as he stepped up to the plate cheering him on. Baseball was struck out by skateboards. Yehaa! We skated all over the city and Aunty Betty bought out the entire supply of band-aids from the supermarket...'

Now you have the idea, repeat it through all the parts of your outline.
It's important to say each segment outloud and experiment with links until you find the one that sounds right.

When you've finished linking say the whole speech aloud several times. Listen carefully and edit where necessary.

The process is simple. It works and that's how to write a unique 40th birthday speech you'll be pleased to deliver.

PS Do you want to see a finished sample before you begin your own writing? You'll find links to handy pages of witty and wise birthday quotations too.

The 40th Birthday Speech Sample

The 40th Birthday Speech - How to Write a Good One

Are you ready to trade public speaking fear for public speaking success?
You'll find practical, manageable step by step resources to take you there at write-out-loud.com
Susan Dugdale is an ex-teacher, writer and word lover. She regularly practices what she preaches.

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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

How to Define "Substantial Change in Circumstances" to the Court

Just because the court has ordered custody and child support during the divorce decree, doesn't mean that it's set in stone for life. During a child's lifetime, a number of situations can occur that can affect their care and thus require that the divorce decree, child support order, or custody arrangements be reconsidered by the courts.

In order to be successful in modifying any of the three orders, it is important that you have proof of a "substantial change in circumstances." This can be a number of things, such as a change in a parent's job (income, work schedule, etc.) that affects the children; the inclusion of a new family members, such as one of the parents remarrying, which could increase their income or affect the child's views on the non-custodial parent if the new step-parent is disparaging the other parent; a social, mental, or physical change that increases concern for the child's upbringing and care; signs of abuse, lack of supervision, or other physical or mental concern that applies to the child due to the custodial parent's actions.

Fatherhood

You can also argue a modification if the child is mature enough to make a decision as to the parent they want to reside with, and is of an age where this decision is educated and made on a number of provable points. But just because a child is at an age to make a choice doesn't mean they are mature enough to do so, and this could be fought in court with the proper proof of circumstances.

How to Define "Substantial Change in Circumstances" to the Court

Remember, without proof of a substantial change in circumstances, you will more than likely be turned down for any modification in your child support or custody arrangements. But with the proper information at hand and proof to document such changes, you may very well have a chance at changing things around in your favor as a father to your children!

How to Define "Substantial Change in Circumstances" to the Court

Dennis Gac is widely known as "The World's premier fathers rights Consultant!" But why would you care? Well, I'll tell you if you rush over to his site... I think you'll come to your own conclusion that he "IS" the real deal! Experience someone who works and thinks outside the box for you! Read what others have to say at http://www.fathershelphotline.com.

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Friday, June 8, 2012

National Deadbeat Dad List


As you know that the children are the responsibilities of the parents. If due to some adverse circumstances as well as conditions, if parents get separation and live alone, then at this time their duty for children would become more significant. Both of them have the equal responsibilities for their children. Therefore, it is necessary to participate in child support equally by the parents. The parents in such cases take legal options in order to have the right judgment in their favor. However, some of the fathers do not want to support their child and thus categorized as the deadbeat dad. So, if you are the father who has divorced, then you have to face some legal orders by the court for child support. At this time you may have lot of the social pressure that would force you to be a responsible father. And you surely do not want to be counted as a deadbeat dad in the national deadbeat dad list.

If you are one who loves and cares your children, then you are totally opposite from a deadbeat dad. So, do not worry to have your name in the national deadbeat dad list. Actually, the father who abuses and neglects his children is generally called as deadbeat dad. However, court can also put those who are not paying their amount for child support regularly in the category of deadbeat dads. So, the person who disallows the court orders or tries to escape himself from paying the authorized order for child support is added into the national list of deadbeat dads.

Fatherhood

Some of the fathers, who have the custody of their child but they would fail to teach the proper guideline to their child so that they can grow up well, also come under the category of deadbeat dads. The proper direction and guidance is very important for the children. Therefore, court passes such order under which the dads who have the custody of their children have to give them good education and proper guideline for their better growth and development. If the father fail to do so then he would also be listed in the national deadbeat dad list.
National Deadbeat Dad List
So, if you are the good father and do not want your name in the national deadbeat dad list then you have to do some measures. There are several guidelines available on internet that can support you to be a good father. As there are lots of child support attorney that can help you to give your best in order to support your child. In addition, you can also go to the child support counselors, so that you can learn the tricks to be a good and caring father.
National Deadbeat Dad List
Katie Appleby is an accomplished niche website developer and author.
To learn more about national deadbeat dad list, please visit You & Your Child's Relationship Site for current articles and discussions.
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Saturday, June 2, 2012

10 Principles to Live Life Without Regret

No one is perfect. We all do things that we must learn to do over or that we desire to change.

Each of us find ourselves in situations where we wish we had handled it differently, done it better, or said it more respectfully.

Fatherhood

When you find yourself in these situations, you must learn to take from them the wisdom and knowledge that will help you to move on to the next level in your life in a positive manner.

10 Principles to Live Life Without Regret

The lessons that you get from such situations allow you to grow in various aspects of your being, particularly, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.

The main thing to remember is when you find yourself in situations that you want to change, do over, or do better; you must learn to live life without regret. When you regret what happens in your life, you diminish the person that you are.

My friend, Tracy Leland Jones, helped me to realize this important life lesson. He was killed in June 2006. However, two months before his death, he told me that his life was good and he didn't regret a thing.

I am glad that I had a chance to have that conversation with him. As I grieve his loss, his words comfort me in knowing that he enjoyed the life that he lived (i.e. entrepreneurship, engagement to the love of his life, fatherhood to his daughter that was the pride of his life, and career success as an actor and comedian). In addition, his words have inspired me to learn to live my life without regrets.

Yet, how can that be done? As I pondered that question, I realized that I am not the only one who must learn to live life without regret. Nor am I the only one who wants concrete strategies to ensure that I live my life without regret.

According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, regret is "to be very sorry for". Since, in my life, I have been very "sorry for" things that I have done or things that have happened to me, only to later appreciate those things that I regretted because they helped to make me who I am, I pondered how we could stay on the right track towards living life without regret.

Looking back on my last conversation with Tracy, I realized that he had left me with a blueprint for how to live my life without regret.

Based upon the life that I observed that Tracy lived and the insight that he shared with me, below you will find a set of strategies that I have created to assist us with the journey of living life without regret:

1) Apologize, mean it and move on;
2) Appreciate who you've become through your trials and tribulations;
3) As you know better, do better;
4) Be honest with yourself;
5) Be someone others can count on;
6) Dare to dream and experience your dreams;
7) Eliminate fear from your life;
8) Laugh more than you cry and compliment more than you complain;
9) Treat others the way you want to be treated; and
10) Walk by faith.

I know that you can think of some really terrible things that happened in your life - things that if you could go back and change them - you would. Trust me, I can name a few in my life, too!

Yet, to regret what happened to you means that you are stuck in a holding pattern where you can't break free to relish in the blessings you have been provided by the very things you regret.

The 10 strategies presented in this article will get you going in the right direction to live your life without regret.

I will use these strategies to live my life without regret - as Tracy did. I ask that you join me in doing the same.

10 Principles to Live Life Without Regret

Cassandra "D.I.V.A. of Dialog" Lee has a mission for educating and empowering audiences toward personal growth and career success. As a self-development expert, professional speaker, corporate trainer, author, and life coach, she uses "Divine Inspiration Vocally Applied" to provide strategies and solutions for helping her audiences via her live seminars, workshops, keynote speeches, training sessions, and one-on-one coaching sessions. To receive personal empowerment tidbits FREE each month, sign-up for her newsletter, Dialog Digest at http://www.divaofdialog.com/newsletter.aspx.

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